After my spine surgery I could walk about again, but was crazy overweight and was still in atrocious shape with my back pain. Would you like to talk about this new journey I’m on with a spot of tea boys? Oh wait, not a single guy mentions Earl Grey in his profile or in any conversation with me. Clearly this is not Downton Abby. Ooh, let’s play! I would totally be… Lady Sybil. (I know, you thought I was going to try and be sassy and pick Mary. Nope, not me.) In my mind Sybil and I match best, I’ll let my big brother be Mary, and thank goodness we don’t have a constantly annoying Edith. (Ugh, she drove me crazy.)
Sybil and I are both politically adept and we follow our passions, sometimes to our own demise. Her, her life giving birth to a child with a man not very well accepted by her family. Me, my back refusing to take a desk job in college and quit dancing. We both also had a surprising impact on our families with who we are at our core. I’ve decided I need to write a book while my father is still on this Earth so he may write the forward for me. I knew this one afternoon, driving down the 60mph stretch of Route 23 north coming home from Columbus when we talked about me being gay and how he was always quite removed from “gay culture” and what it may or may not mean and be about. He always assumed gay men were always all about sex and drugs that led them to their own demise. Having a gay son though, one who graduated Valedictorian in his high school, one who went to college and pursued his dreams with vigor, one who legitimately dated men for who they were instead of for any other unscrupulous reasons. His mind was changed on how he viewed gay men. Old dogs can learn new tricks.
Gay men love to drink. I take that back, men love to drink. Gay men though take it to an all different level. I couldn’t keep up, I was young, I was in college (then performing all over Ohio), I got older still in my twenties so I kept on trying, then I blacked out and woke up with a hangover. Oh lordy, so many barbaric hangovers. I wanted to fit in in “the life of gay men.” Really though, I had no idea what I wanted so I ended up losing myself in it all. After my spine surgery, long story short, I ended up getting past the pain with Mimosa’s in the morning, Bloody Mary’s at lunch, and a Cap Cod or two in the evening. Can you see I had a problem? I couldn’t. My mom though could.
My mom and I are exactly 29 years apart. Yep, same birthday. We are like twins, just in the way that we either love or can’t stand each other, and we understand each other in unexplainable ways. We are also brutally honest with each other often not wanting to admit the other is not living the best they can. This happened in a strange and subtle way on my 29th birthday, what I’m just realizing was how old my mom was when I was born. Huh, back to my tale. On our birthday last year mom looked me in the eye and said I bet you can’t stop drinking for one year. I responded with, you’re on, set down my glass of wine, and haven’t touched a drink since. As of today that makes it 1 year, 4 months, and 3 days since my last drink. That means I’ve had about 200 less hangovers than what I was destined for. I may not have won anything with the bet, but I’ll be darned if I give the feeling of waking up and being able to bounce out of bed in the morning. Yes, I’m talking A.M! Have I mentioned yet that I love mornings? The quite, the still, the calm, and the peace they bring over you. Maybe I’ll tell you guys about how I like to spend each morning in a later post. As for me, I was a wine-o and also my hard drink of choice was, you may have already guessed, I liked vodka. In fact I still have half a bottle left over from 2016 in my liquor cabinet. Please someone come drink it, I spent way too much on the top shelf stuff to throw it out. Oh wait, no guy from the UK apparently will drink it because every other guy mentions on his profile that their drink of choice is Gin. Can anyone explain this interesting little tidbit to me about British guys?
Where is that 9 ¾ Platform cart wedged in a wall half way between London and Hogwarts in the UK??? Really boys, really. Where is this hidden treasure? It is a profile picture for at least 1/4th of all London guys have on their Tinder. I simply must have a picture here. Must! If you’re the guy to take me out on This date, you may end up being the guy I move to the UK for. If it’s nonalcoholic, I’ll even have a butterbeer with you anytime you want! I loved the books, the forth is my favorite, I kinda enjoyed the movies, but guys in the UK love Harry. Well, both of them. The wizard and the Prince. I however believe that my prince is waiting for me across the pond, as long as I don’t have a magic trick played on me during my visit.