I purchased Tinder Plus to find a husband in the UK. Do I sound crazy? Probably. Am I determined to find an amazing man born and raised in the UK? Definitely. I was very pleasantly surprised by the men in London. I swipe right so much I’m pretty sure that my phone screen has developed an impression going from the center off to the right side. Why this insanity? I am looking at beautiful, handsome, cute, stunning, interesting, smart, funny, witty, and really just above and beyond interesting Outside the US. How am I doing this? I get to place my location to the exact address where I’ll be staying in an Air B&B in the heart of the city. Every gay man seems to be on Tinder and almost all of them are quite pleasing to the eyes and quite wonderful to talk with. I swipe left about 70% of the time in Ohio, but in London, it seems every guy has a gym membership, every guy has a PhD, every guy knows at least 3 languages, and every guy is a well-seasoned traveler. There are so many unique names that pop up, Gareth, Kishan, Ludo, Shafa, Jakir, and so on. Surprisingly there seems to be a consensus that in the mid-eighties one out of every ten mothers and fathers decided to name their son Paul. My question is, does the name Paul make a boy gay, or are all the Paul’s just not taken yet? Hmmm, can I go ahead and guess that there is a 10% chance my husband is going to be a Paul?
So many different looking men to choose from… why choose? I will never understand why guys have “preferences.” I’ve liked guys who are 5’4” and I’ve even liked a beautiful stoic man at 6’8”. Really! I could work on my “jump kiss!” I’m at 6’0” so I land nicely in the center of the height chart. As far as ethnicity goes, it is more of a melting pot than anywhere I’ve been in the US, including L.A. and NYC! So many beautiful men from South America to every single Asian country every known! In fact I’m pretty sure Asia has lost much of their gay male population to England. My best guess is that 17% of the gay male population in London is of Asian descent… and I’m finding myself enjoying these men much more than I would have guessed from what I’ve heard gay men say in the “community.” (Which I really don’t consider myself in, for a multitude of reasons that I will dive into in a later post I’m sure.) In the community at large I hear that Asian men are not all that desired… Okay, fine by me. More wonderful men that I can meet! I do feel I should share that there are some men I do not want to be with… smokers. (Cigarettes much more than pot.) It doesn’t matter how handsome you are, if I see a cigarette in your hand it’s a swipe left. I honestly care much more about a guy’s smile showing off his personality than a sexy/hot/manly body. But…
I am going to be scared to go swimming over in the UK. Why? Every single guy is “sporty.” Yes, it took me a moment to realize that means they are more or less gym savvy. (Now I get why there was a “Sporty Spice!”) It can mean they play football or rugby, but mostly it means they sport a killer set of abs and are more than comfortable showing off their amazing physique’s on the beach in only a speedo! I know right! Wonderful for the eyes, embarrassing when I look down at the belly I still have after losing over 100lbs in the past year.
Long story short my London Loves, my right leg became paralyzed after a (now) very funny accident with a great ex-boyfriend of mine. [You can message me on Instagram to find out about that! ;)] After the incident, it took months and months and months for my insurance to approve the spinal surgery I needed to walk again. During that time I moved home and lived on my parents couch, all day all I did was eat and eat and eat some more. It was all comfort food too. Things that I am sure would make me sick now that I’m eating a vegan diet. I put on well over 130lbs. It was horrendous. I was an elephant. I’ve since lost 100lbs of it, mostly with diet change and walking a ton playing Pokémon GO! If you play, boy you are just one step closer to being my man. I plan to keep my diet pretty darn strict, do some fasting protocols, and hit the gym, I mean, be sporty 3 times a week. I’ve got to do my best to look and feel my best for the potential of meeting one of these six pack giants over there.
It’s July 4th, Independence Day in the U.S. I have a gig singing at the Prospect Fireworks Festival. Maybe I’ll post a video of one of my songs on here tonight. Look for it boys.
Love,
Your Ohio Guy.