I’ve had exhilarating highs and devastating lows in my love life. I will always treasure the day the first man I ever loved texted me all day from the gym on a random Saturday I decided to stay in bed than go with him. “This song is reminding me of you.” “I miss you.” “Can’t get you off my mind.” Whatever Chad, you’re cute, but I’m going back to sleep. He then came home, ran upstairs, jumped on the bed, straddled me, looked me in the eyes and said “I love you” for the first time since we started dating 5 months earlier. This kiss that followed was my highest moment in my own “Romantic Comedy” movie. We then laid together and took in the moment for what seems like hours, hours of the best feeling my heart has ever felt.
He later cheated on me and I had an actually mental breakdown at work and ended up having to leave my job, yet, that day he told me he loved me… I hope that will be one of the 5 best days we get to live over and over again from our lives when we die. (Just one of several ideas I believe heaven will be like, yes boys, I am Christian. More spiritual, but I do plan on our kids learning life lessons of love, based on the best lessons of Christ.) That day, and many days after, were rough, but not my bottom worst days of life. Those I won’t take you down with, they don’t apply to our story I am traveling on in this blog. I will say that every loss of a relationship is not really a loss, but a learning experience. I hope that others feel this way as well. I know, it hurts a ton, your heart is so heavy it feels like it’s in your gut every morning and night when you feel most alone sleeping by yourself again after months or years being with a partner. The upsides far outweigh that weight of your heart in the long run. You know so much more of yourself when you’re willing to give your full, honest self, over to another. It’s a form of constant real life therapy! Plus, if you’re gay, you get to double your wardrobe during the time of your relationship. Whoo-hoo! I hope that everyone, after a relationship ends for any reason, will take time to look in on themselves and self-assess. It may have not been “your fault” that the relationship ended, but please don’t let that stop you from learning from it so that you can be better and in a better relationship when it comes into your life again.
My brother, sister-in-love, and baby niece are currently in Germany, Enkenbach-Alsenborn and the Army base in Sembach. We went there to spend our Christmas together last year (2017). It was an incredible eye opening experience. If you have never been out of your home country, leave! See the world. Go somewhere where your own spoken language is not the most popular one spoken. I’ve been to Canada and Puerto Rico. They both are still America. (Ha, sorry Drew-be-do.) Germany and Paris were life alternating places. I met a kind, well spoken, beautifully adapted to the world around him man in Germany. We spent only a little time together, but Uwe, yes, he’s German, changed in my mind what a man, a possible partner, could be like. He just took himself as a normal, everyday guy, but to me, he was a wonder. His life was completely different from mine and any kind of life of any man I had ever met before. Oh, and his accent. Need I really say anything about how incredibly cool, nifty, sweet, sexy, fun, etc. an accent can be?? This man started the germination of a seed in my mind that, through prayer/meditation and meeting more and more American men has sprouted into a full on desire to end up with a man from across the pond.
I believe that part of a good relationship is learning from one another. This builds interest in the other person and helps you grow as a person as well. If you’re not growing and learning through your life, then in my mind, you’re not living. Sitting at an event put on in a small town near me I looked around at all the people who were completely content with this silly even that made me bored being one of the highlights of their entire year, and I thought, I’ve got to get out. I don’t want this. Yes, I enjoy my alone downtime, but this is just not me. I’m ready. I’m ready to move on with my life, my job is stagnate and I’m not performing enough. I’m ready to find love again, I’ve been single for two years working on myself both mentally and physically. I’m ready to get out of The States, I’ve been here, done this, I’m already ready to try Mountain Dew with stricter standards in the UK that take out the nasty carcinogens and additives that slowly kill you. I’m going to be in the UK in August, just one month away, so, I’m ready to find love, ready to find love in London.
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